Flash-Flash. Lights, Lights, Lights?

How could all this have burnt so quickly? Seems like i failed, seems like i've lost the smallest part i had. Seems like i screwed up everything and i don't know what to do to get over it or to mend all this mess i've made. I just have so much questions and no one, neither i can answer. I feel so useless, i feel like i don't have to be in, like i don't have to be at all. I did something wrong, but i can't find out what it is among all the mistakes i've made in such a short time. I can't find the will to eat, the will to exist anymore. All i want to do now is disappear, stop causing widespread damages everywhere i stand. And what am i going to do now? What am i going to say, how can i explain or justify? Because i'm losing grip and i can't find a way to make all this going better. All i do is a nonsense action. I understand why i'm on my own. In fact i don't. I cant figure it out. I'm just alone now, and i'm guilty. I feel like i just lost. This is such a nasty part. Such a nasty part and i have to get through it or never go ahead, never step again.